Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
