we're chasing vodka with high fives
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
