nut hugger
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You need a sexual gate keeper
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize
