Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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