coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
What drink are we having for lunch?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
