i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She's the barista slut.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
