what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
