my phone needs a breathalizer
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
