i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
