Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you traded sex for a burrito?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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