somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
just come out here and I will go home with you...
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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