your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
