It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize