Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
