if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize
