i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
