Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
