Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize