If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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