awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
