whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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