my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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