I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
