Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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