...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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