I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
