we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
