I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
So much Jack, so little girl.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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