I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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