I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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