Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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