i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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