you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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