Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
