Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
