Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
