I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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