is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
