My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
