Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
