you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
