Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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