can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
