Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
