Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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