That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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