I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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