Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Girls should come with a carfax report
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
