this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
