I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
