Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
