my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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