I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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