Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize
