If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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