so explain again why im purple
no
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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