quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
