she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Did I show you my penis last night?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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