Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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