you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
